Hacker
by HaltiOvi
Summary: Robin tries to figure out his strange addiction. "Information is my drug." -Robin. Robin hacks his friends computers to find out what they're hiding, but are they even hiding anything? Or is he just paranoid?


Hey all, this is my first time writing for this asterous cartoon but I've been writing Batman & Robin stuff forever. ;) I just don't post most of it. So, this is separated into parts but I didn't want to separate them into chapters because... Well... It's all here. As you will be able to tell from this story, I love Robin 3, he's awesome. I also love KF (YJ Twitter Valentines emotional massacre anyone?).

Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Please review!

**\Hacker\**

**PART I**

It was a bad habit.

I erased all history of my being there and left safely. No one would know.

This was a terrible habit.

I would lose SO MUCH trust if they found out.

Hacking into teammates' electronic diarys on their comps was a VERY bad habit.

I did it when I lived with Batman too. No, no, Bats didn't have one but I used the bat-computer for a few things that would be considered illegal, but I wasn't caught. Did that make it okay? Of course not, but I was addicted.

If I wanted to know something? I could find out from invading their personal space. I could hack into their computers, the computers of places they shop at, figure out credit card numbers and SSIDs. I didn't go that far, I was Bruce Wayne's ward, I didn't need money.

But this was scary. I always feel like I'm going to get caught when I'm snooping through my friends' history or hard drive. I didn't feel this way when I did it to people I hardly knew.

I care too much.

Maybe that's a bat-thought, but I can't help it. I feel like I could get in trouble at any moment, maybe it was guilt?

I knew more about them than they knew about me. That was a given, I have a secret identity. M'gann was paranoid about making friends and was actually a little depressed deep down, apparantly her and Artemis talk. Artemis has a secret she won't even write about on her computer. But she does have weird spending habits, even for superheros in tights.

Aqualad was homesick and guilty and actually wants to know what fish tastes like, but he won't dare. He's scared he'll like it.

Superboy is hard to understand. He writes strangely so it's hardly legible. But I can tell he's torn up inside, an unresponsive Superman doesn't help.

Wally, oh god, Wally... So much. He isn't sleeping or eating well. I thought it was just an adjustment to having this team AND still being The Flash's partner, I was like that for about a week or two, but he's still like this. I might have to say something to Batman or Flash if this continues...

I could tell you a lot about the Justice League too, I looked at all of their files from the Bat-computer around the time Bruce first started it.

I don't know why I can't stop. It's a problem, hey, that's the first step, right? I LIKE knowing. I'm addicted to information. I crave it, I need it, I go crazy without it. Information is my drug.

That sounds stupid, but it's true.

One day, I'll stop. Or I'll get caught, whichever comes first. If I get caught, I might not have these friends anymore though...

What do I do?

**PART II**

It's been 5 months.

I've gotten better. I still find myself typing in the familiar codes. It's a muscle memory. I'm a lot better now. I hardly check. When I get the urge, I do check. But not an extensive search of the hard drive, I'll just do a quick history search from the past 3 days. If there isn't a lot of action then I do check recent docs and pics. But I don't look at them.

Yet.

They don't sound suspicious.

But they could be lying. They could type in some bogus title and the contents could be full of lies and betrayals. But, I'm trying to trust them. I mean, I DO trust them. It's just hard to trust 100%.

I type in the familiar codes.

I check the recent history, 6 windows pop up, one for each team member. Everything falls into the patterns.

That bogus title theory? I test it. I open one document from each of them. Nothing suspicious. Of course.

Now I feel like a dirt-bag.

I almost open more and more before I stop myself. Am I really going to do this?

Yes.

I am.

I open each and every document. Each and every picture. I check this that and the other. Everyone. They're innocent.

But I'm not.

This isn't right. It's SO WRONG.

But I can't help it.

Is there a Hacker's Anon? I don't think I would go anyway. I just...

I'm going to stop.

**PART III**

I haven't hacked my friend's computers in 3 months. It's very difficult. I hate myself for doing it in the first place. But I do have these urges to check.

I have urges to talk to them about it. Casually. Just like, _Hey, how's so and so doing? Still looking at those earrings, expensive, aren't they?_ But that would be suicide. No thank you.

But I have to know. But it's not my business to know. I try to ease it into conversation. _I've been thinking about buying myself something nice for once, want to go to the mall with me later?_ That's such a lie, I never had that thought. But whatever.

So we go to the mall and all we talk about are those earrings and this and that. I expect to go home empty-handed but change my mind and buy something anyway. I don't want to say who is talking about earrings, so I'll just say this, they didn't buy THOSE ones (too expensive) but they did buy some cheaper ones. Pssh, I assure them that these are cool too.

See, I can function without knowing. Information isn't... THAT kind of information isn't vital. It isn't. I know that now.

I feel a lot better.

But also worse.

Are they planning something? Are they talking behind my back? What are they DOING?

I resist the urge.

**PART IV**

I hacked.

I just. I couldn't... I...

I don't even know how to defend myself.

I CAN'T defend myself. I'm guilty. I won't run from it.

I should just tell them but, I'm scared. Batman would be disappoint. But I'll say it again, I'm scared.

Just one more time. I'll look just one more time. One more time, I think this for the tenth time. I hacked Wally's first. It's more fun to do it one at a time. I think I want to be caught so I take the longest time possible. Just waiting for it to happen.

I contemplate asking Batman for help with my problem, but I don't want to hear him lecture me right now. I need advice, not critique.

I stopped typing for one second too long, thinking too hard I suppose, and messed up. I bet Wally's getting an anti-virus pop-up right now.

Yup. He comes to me, laptop in hand and sets it down. Tells me the IP looks like mine and asks if it is. I deflect the question by asking why he tracks IPs. He says it's so he can get spammers and people who spread viruses. I chuckle half-heartedly. He repeats his question.

I feel oddly calm.

I nod, a small smile on my face.

I expect him to yell but he just stares at me, slightly confused, and asks why, and if it was just for laughs. He asks if it was a prank.

I come clean to him. I end up begging him to stay my friend. He's my only REAL friend. The only one who knows I'm Robin AND Richard. I think I cried a little but I'm not sure. But my breathing WAS uneven. I apologized many times.

He looked at me strangely still.

I expected him to leave and never come back. To break off our friendship.

Instead, he gives a sympathetic smile. He tells me it's okay and he'll help me get through this. He asks if I want to go over to Roy's house, my only other REAL friend, but he's kind of an ass. I shrug, why not? Wally mentions that Roy would know how to get over an addiction. I laugh at him, that was mean.

We end up at Roy's place and I come clean, Wally helping me speak when I couldn't find the right words. Roy silently listened until I was done and then sighed. He told me a few things that could help.

We ended up having a boy's night. Just the three of us.

**PART V**

I don't hack my friends anymore. But I do stalk them a little bit, but that's okay. Wally had his laptop sitting in front of me while he left for the kitchen, I think he did it on purpose, to see if I could resist. I smiled. He wasn't mad at all. That just showed he never had anything to hide from me.

He came back from the kitchen and gave me another strange look. He then, jokingly, asked if I snooped. I shook my head, small smile in place. He laughed and told me it was okay to USE his comp if I ever needed to though. I nodded and thanked him for his help.

I love my friends.

I trust them.

I didn't tell them though, but does that make me a bad person? I mean, everyone has secrets. At least I don't look through theirs anymore.

Maybe I'll tell them eventually but right now isn't the best time. I'll wait a few years and then I can say it was all in the past.

And I have two terrific BFFs to help me get through this.

I love you guys.

-Robin\


End file.
